Tag Archive | celebrations

A True Confession

Yesterday was my 63rd birthday. I usually don’t tell people how old I am because I’ve always looked ten years younger. In fact, when I went to college at 35, one of my young contemporaries called me a “well preserved old broad.” (laugh here) At the time I accepted the compliment, and now, I hope it’s still true. (you can laugh again)

I really don’t mind getting older, but I do mind the changes it brings. Instead of presents, now I get phone calls. It’s not like I need anything, but I still revel when I’m surprised. Ken used to always surprise me, but now his illness doesn’t allow him to shower me with his special thoughtful gifts. It hurts. It’s another reminder of how much MS has taken from us.

I think at this stage of the game I should stop being a child about my birthday, but somehow I can’t turn off the fact that July 31 was the one day out of the year that I was the big cheese. My mother allowed all of us to pick what kind of cake we could have and what special outing we’d like for our special day. For me, it was poppyseed cake and an afternoon swimming at Brown’s Lake. On top of that, people sang to me and I got to make a wish before I blew out the candles on the cake. Then there was always the presents people picked out just for me. What a head rush! Who wouldn’t be crazy about a day like that?

So, maybe you can see now that taking Ken to the doctor and going out for lunch isn’t quite the same thing. However, it was very special when his doc sang “Happy Birthday” to me. Wasn’t that great?

A good blogging friend once wrote a comment to one of my writings about accepting change, which I came across this morning. Here it is:

The principles of the Buddhist philosophy is that it’s our expectations that cause suffering. When we release expectation and enjoy what is, suffering ends.

Makes sense doesn’t it? So why is it so hard to do?


Celebrate the Good Times!



Happy Sunday Everyone!

Ken and I had a good week, part of which was celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary. It was a glorious day, sunny, above freezing and best of all, Ken felt well. We drove across town to one of our favorite restaurants, held hands across the table, toasted ourselves with a very rare cocktail (we don’t have them often), and enjoyed a lovely early dinner. We hoped we would have a day like this, but just in case, I had a Plan B in place if our celebration would have to take place at home. With MS in the house, we never know what the day will bring.

But Ken felt stronger than he had in a long time. In fact, he felt strong enough to walk with his walker from the car into the restaurant. With going in and going out, he walked about the length of a city block. That’s like running a 5K for someone else. But, again I had a Plan B in place — before we left, I put the wheelchair in the back of the car.

We were so delighted with the outing, we wanted to do a dance of joy in the parking lot.

If you read my post “Changing Identities” from yesterday, you know I blew off  substituted a caretaker workshop for an shopping trip with my friend. Because I followed my intuition and did what I wanted to do, that couple of hours doing “girl” stuff lifted me up. When I got home, I had energy I hadn’t had for a long time. I even joyously cleaned a couple of kitchen drawers to make room for the new set of knives I had just purchased. And after that, I happily tackled the bathroom floor with the new mop I had just bought at Big Lots.

Yeah, these things are so mundane you are probably wondering why I’m writing about them. But life happens in events like this for all of us. We diminish these truly great events—like going out for a meal with our spouse or going on a utilitarian shopping trip to Big Lots and having a hot dog for lunch at Sam’s Club with a friend–because we’re waiting for a truly great event to celebrate.

If I’ve learned anything by walking this MS journey with Ken, it is the fact we need to celebrate everyday thing–like when he can walk down the hall without having to hold on. Or celebrating a new recipe,  which turns out perfect. We celebrate every little thing we can because if we wait the BIG event or even a holiday, we’d miss out on a lot of fun.

So, don’t wait to celebrate. Do it everyday. Make a party out of it being Tuesday, or Wednesday! Don’t wait for life to bring you something special because you’ll surely miss out on the bigger share of your life.