A Quiet 4th of July

world_spinningKen’s Multiple Sclerosis is a puzzling disease. Everyday is a surprise. Neither of us know whether he’ll have a day free of fatigue or one that is full of it. We hope the different holidays throughout the year will end  up being good days, but as time goes on, we’ve learned MS doesn’t care if we have plans or not.

The Fourth of July this year was a particularly bad day for him. In fact, he fought to keep his eyes open–literally. Not that he was tired. The muscles in his eye lids refused to work, no matter how hard he tried to fight them.

Needless to say, the downtown parade was out. He made me go to lunch at a friend’s home because we are invited every year, and she was expecting us. By evening, he still wasn’t feeling well enough to watch the fireworks–not even on television.

The day was a wash for him. I found myself very angry at the cruelness of his disease because no matter what he feels or thinks, the disease calls the shots. I suppose any serious diseases has the say-so too, but I’m not living with them. I am living with this. I want to shout, “It’s unfair!”

But this thing we call the human condition is not fair. We both accept this fact, so when these days come along, he rests, and I keep quiet and read. It’s called coping. It’s called love.Blog 3-31 003

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5 thoughts on “A Quiet 4th of July

  1. I wish there was something I could say. I know other people who have had to deal with chronic unrelenting disease and it’s not fair. I hope you guys have some better days.

    • Thanks, Dan. We do have good days and we take advantage of them by getting out of the house and doing something fun. We try to stay upbeat and Ken never complains no matter how he feels, so I am blessed. He’s a great guy. I only wish he didn’t have to suffer through this crap.

  2. I’m catching up on posts I missed during my moving process. I had to go all the way back to see one of yours. This concerns me. You haven’t posted in months. It feels like really bad news. My move kept me away a great deal but I kept looking for a post from you. Hugs are all I can send.

    • Thanks so much for your concern. I have been working on two novels and lately haven’t had anything worth sharing. I really am okay. Just for you, I will post something just for you. Hugs right back atcha!

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