Have you ever noticed that babies of any species are always cute? Off hand, I can’t think of one baby that is really too ugly to love. I think Nature planned it that way, so mothers would accept their children and not be inclined to kill their young.
Once you’re a mother, it’s a life sentence. The only way to stop being a human mother is to die. We don’t lay eggs and let them hatch alone. We don’t push them out of the nest. We don’t have some breeder give away our young. Even when your children are collecting Social Security, you’re still a mother. Other professions retire, but mothers don’t.
Motherhood is a curious role. You’re expected to be perfect and make all the right decisions, but there is no training for the position. It’s a role that is learned by example. If you had a loving mother, you’ll be all right. But if not, well, you’re on your own, and most likely your children will fault you for the same shortcomings your own mother had.
I think mothers in general want to love their children. But what if you get a kid who’s turned into a person you don’t like? What if they make decisions that are hard to accept? Then what? Are we supposed to standby and not have an opinion. Aren’t we allowed feelings? Usually not.
Isn’t it always the fault of the mother that problems arise in adult life? Many psychologists believe that. Maybe they are right, but why does all the responsibility and blame fall on the mother? Where’s the father in all of this? And don’t children have any skin in this game?
I find myself think about these things because today is Mother’s Day—a made up holiday where people try to make their mother feel valued with a card and a plant from the local nursery. And this is the first mother’s day my own mother isn’t here to enjoy the sunny day.
We were never close, but I find myself thinking about her. In her way, she was a good mother. She sacrificed for her children. She kissed our boo-boos and read stories before bedtime. She cooked good meals and kept our house cleaner than it needed to be. She was a stay-at-home mom who did the hard job of saying “no.”
As I reflect today, I just wish she could have found more happiness in what she had. I wish she could have learned to play a little more–even be silly once in a while. But I think she thought she wasn’t allowed because she had to be a good mother and set an example. I am thankful, though, she found us cute enough to keep us around to adulthood.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I hope you found the happiness you were looking for in heaven.