I think we humans are a curious lot. When the snow is falling, we’re perusing seed catalogs for our spring gardens. When it’s sweltering hot in the summer, we’re purchasing snow blowers. We buy flannel pajamas in spring and swimming suits in winter. Prepare, prepare, prepare. Control, control, control. Yicks! Does anybody else think this is just a little bit crazy?
Oh don’t get me wrong, I still complain about crummy weather, wishing it were warmer or cooler. But I think that’s just in human DNA—after all, somewhere in our background our ancestors were farmers, Right?
What I’m talking about it letting go of trying to control everything in my grasp. Been there. Done that. It doesn’t work.
Once you experience a hiccup in your “plans,” you’ll know what I mean. Get sick enough for a serious operation and have to recover for months. Lose a loved one suddenly and deal with devastating grief. Get fired from a job you loved. Have your dog get hit by a car. It doesn’t matter what the crisis is. When your life is thrown into a vortex you are unable to control, you’ll understand. And believe me, it will happen.
I’m not saying that plans aren’t good. I make plans with friends all the time. And it’s extremely important to have goals. I expect myself to fill up my bookshelves with published novels. What I’m saying these plans and goals shouldn’t define us. If you miss the mark with one goal, create another one. Sometime success is found in failure. (Have you ever read Abraham Lincoln’s life story?) Roll with it.
I want my legacy to be the good things I’ve done in my life. I want people to miss me when I’ve moved on into the universe. If I were going to have a headstone, it would simply read: She was a good friend.
So the next time you’re driving yourself into craziness with schedules, goals and other self-inflicted harm, try to step back and remember how you want to be remembered. I’ve found this simple step has freed me from self destructing in front of my own eyes.